PASADENA – In the words of Jim Ballard, “My name is Art Martinez… or, Has U$C stopped scoring yet?”
The Trojans scored more often than Handbone in the bushes at Northridge in the old days, thumping our Bruins at the Rose Bowl, 52-21. It was like Bret Johnson was running the offense again.
At least we drank a lot. If you didn’t attend, you missed the biggest Upsilon Alumni Association tailgater ever, with more than 50 brothers, actives, alumni and guests chugging through two kegs and horking down Pinche Ruben’s Mexican Fiesta. Herman even deep-fried a turkey for the redneck in all of us!
Some notable attendees were Joe Marsalak, Bill Meyer, Fred Nesbitt (hair dyed blue for the day), Sean Bloch, Jon Yipp, Abel Somilleda and fiancée Liza Brown, Gabor Fabian and fiancé Lilia Leon, Bill Kealey, Jeff Bara, Dan Romero, Jeff Brown, Brian Goldman, Sean Topp, Bruce MacDonald (in sandals, of course), Nate Murphy, Andy (in dress shoes, someone please explain that), Stu Johnson, Jason Won, Steve Clarence, Fred Tan, and Steve Yu.
A timeline of the day:
4:20 a.m. (8 hours before kickoff): Scott Good and UAA President Herman Quispe arrive at the Rose Bowl to set up the grill, tent and satellite television.
8:30 a.m. (4 hours before kickoff): Herman is smashed off early morning Bloody Marys, still insists that Maradona didn’t use his hand to score a goal against England in 1990 World Cup.
10:00 a.m. (2.5 hours before kickoff): Jason Won arrives with Steve Clarence, both from San Francisco. Clarence caught the late plane and arrived at midnight, so he gets the “Trooper Award.” J-Wo begins harassing Herman’s 2-year daughter about Argentina losing to Loyola H.S. in the first round of the World Cup.
10:30 a.m. (2 hours before kickoff): Dan “the round mound of rebound” Romero arrives from Orange County, recruits new member for the Elks.
11:30 a.m. (60 minutes before kickoff): Ajay Patel leaves Playa Vista. “I’ll be there in a half hour,” he tells Jon Yipp.
12:00 p.m. (30 minutes before kickoff): Fred “The Man Levi-“ Tan makes his first cameo in L.A. in five years! Dude, his hair is LONG; Greystoke has returned! He wins the “Farthest Distance Traveled Award” – all the way from Austin, Texas. No Ajay Patel in sight.
12:30 p.m. (Kickoff!): No Ajay Patel in sight.
12:31 p.m.: U$C scores on its first play of the game.
12:40 p.m.: U$C scores on its second possession of the game.
12:50 p.m.: U$C scores on its third possession of the game.
1:00 p.m.: J-Wo, Jay Ross, Abel Somilleda and Dan Romero’s friend Bruce from Fullerton challenge a neighboring tent to boat races. Jay passes J-Wo the lead, but J-Wo cannot flip the cup quickly enough and leading Upsilon to a come-from-ahead defeat, choking like the Bruins against Univ. of San Diego on Tuesday night.
1:30 p.m.: Jay Ross dunks J-Wo with keg water from first keg bucket.
1:45 p.m.: Jay Ross dunks J-Wo with keg water from second keg bucket, inadvertently drenches Steve Yu and a random chick for an impromptu wet t-shirt contest.
1:50 p.m.: Steve Yu wins 1st Annual Upsilon Alumni Associaton Wet T-Shirt Contest.
2:00 p.m.: Jeff Bara leaves the stadium and says, “I’d rather go another 10 years without getting laid than watch this $%&!.”
Wait ‘til next year when Coach Karl Dorrell leads the Mighty Bruins into the Coliseum and UCLA regains the Victory Bell!